Day seven

Dear Journal
I fought in the war today. I made my first impact for my side. We got into postition to fight and all we did is wait. We waited for them and then they came to our side of the river on boats. As soon as we had our orders to shoot we all shot at them. I might have killed one of them, I might not have. You don't know because everyone was shooting at them at the same time. I don't know how I was supposed to feel after I shot one of them. Was I supposed to feel good because I had killed a loyalist and avenged many a persons death. Or was I meant to feel bad cause I had ended someone life. I think I felt fine because I had learnt what the loyalists do to other villages for no reason. I think because I had seen how they tortured and killed that innocent village then it wasn't so bad that I had killed a loyalist. Then for the second fight. I felt exhilarated and I felt lots of adrenalin. I felt I was in a position of kill or be killed and frankly I would rather kill one of those loyalists than get killed myself. Then when I heard Juan's voice I got a bit scared and I just whirled around to see what was wrong. Then I finally beat Juan in a soldier thing. I saved him when he would have killed by a loyalist with an Uzi. That is probably my greatest acomplishment at being a soldier.