People dying all the time
Everyone killing each other
Blood everywhere
Endless killing and endless crying
children hurt, why do we fight
war can not come to any good
this is the 43rd war
the first 42 have not helped
so why will this one be any different
Sunday, March 15, 2009
poem
Day seven
Dear Journal
I fought in the war today. I made my first impact for my side. We got into postition to fight and all we did is wait. We waited for them and then they came to our side of the river on boats. As soon as we had our orders to shoot we all shot at them. I might have killed one of them, I might not have. You don't know because everyone was shooting at them at the same time. I don't know how I was supposed to feel after I shot one of them. Was I supposed to feel good because I had killed a loyalist and avenged many a persons death. Or was I meant to feel bad cause I had ended someone life. I think I felt fine because I had learnt what the loyalists do to other villages for no reason. I think because I had seen how they tortured and killed that innocent village then it wasn't so bad that I had killed a loyalist. Then for the second fight. I felt exhilarated and I felt lots of adrenalin. I felt I was in a position of kill or be killed and frankly I would rather kill one of those loyalists than get killed myself. Then when I heard Juan's voice I got a bit scared and I just whirled around to see what was wrong. Then I finally beat Juan in a soldier thing. I saved him when he would have killed by a loyalist with an Uzi. That is probably my greatest acomplishment at being a soldier.
Day 6
Dear Journal
I finally understand how war is funded. War is funded on the revolution by different means. I know of two. We get donations from people from the US. Also we steal money to help the revolution. We steal the money from peoples bank accounts. The person who does this is captain Mendoza. With the money he took out of the bank accounts he bought an aeroplane to help the revolution. I don't know how I should react towards this. Should I be ashamed since we are stealing money from different peoples bank accounts without their permission. Or should I be fine with it since all the money is going towards the revolution, or is it? I know Menoza would only spend the money on the revolution on an aeroplane or some guns. But he isn't the only one who can take money from peoples bank accounts. Some other person could be taking money from the accounts for themselves. This wouldn't be right. And the fights aren't fought fairly either. They fight dirty using people as pawns in their game of destruction. Attacks are made in the night while everyone is sleeping. They even kill little children just to get what they want. One of the reasons our unit is doing so well is because of the leadership of Captain Mendoza. He is led us well as a fair captain. He did not punish me when I was slacking but is giving me another chance to do better. War is dirty but we still do it so we can get what we want.
Day five
Dear Journal
The effect of that village I don't think will ever leave me. It was really disgusting seeing all those dead bodies killed by the loyalists. They just killed them for no reason. They weren't soldiers the loyalists were just there to kill them so they could set an example to us, the real soldiers. I just can't shake the feeling that that village could have been mine and everyone I know from the village could be dead. I have no idea what has happened to my village. I mean they could be living just like usual trying to find food. Or they could be dead killed by loyalists or dead from starvation. Also the village that had been killed weren't killed straight away. They were tortured, an entire village tortured and killed just to make an example. Now I finally understand which side is obviously the good side in this war. The revolution fight for the people. The loyalists fight for themselves and use everyone else to get at the revolution. They don't care for us they just care for themselves and that is why we fight against them. I was so sad looking at the dead village that I was really happy when we actually found that someone was alive. And that I had redeemed myself for failing to kill the loyalist. And then the boy that I had seen that looked like my baby brother. As soon as I saw him I remembered about my life back at the village and everything I knew. The picture of that dead boy on the ground will never leave me. The village and the dead people on the ground that will never leave me, I will never forget about that village.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Day 2
Dear Journal
War is different for everyone in it. For Captain Mendoza it is something that he is doing because he believes in a better country for everyone and he believes by winning the war he can do some good in the world. For Juan he does it because he wants to. He enlisted directly into becoming a soldier because he loves his country and because he just likes killing people. I am doing it because it has been forced upon me. They had a choice, I did not. Juan could have just stayed in school until the war finished but he decided to quit school to come fight in a hopeless war. I have had all this forced upon me. I had to learn how to survive and to kill yesterday. And all this has come without a choice. I do not even see the point of this war. Things will always be the same here in Central America. There will always be some loyalists some rebels claiming they want freedom and a better future. And there will always be people like me caught in the middle not completely understanding the point of the fight but still having to fight for one of the sides because if you choose one side then you have one enemy. But if you choose neither side then you have two enemies. Nothing ever changes even if there is a different government. So even if we win this forty-third war we will still be in the same position. The rich guys will still be rich, the soldiers will still be fighting, and the poor will remain poor. This is why I believe this war is pointless.
War is different for everyone in it. For Captain Mendoza it is something that he is doing because he believes in a better country for everyone and he believes by winning the war he can do some good in the world. For Juan he does it because he wants to. He enlisted directly into becoming a soldier because he loves his country and because he just likes killing people. I am doing it because it has been forced upon me. They had a choice, I did not. Juan could have just stayed in school until the war finished but he decided to quit school to come fight in a hopeless war. I have had all this forced upon me. I had to learn how to survive and to kill yesterday. And all this has come without a choice. I do not even see the point of this war. Things will always be the same here in Central America. There will always be some loyalists some rebels claiming they want freedom and a better future. And there will always be people like me caught in the middle not completely understanding the point of the fight but still having to fight for one of the sides because if you choose one side then you have one enemy. But if you choose neither side then you have two enemies. Nothing ever changes even if there is a different government. So even if we win this forty-third war we will still be in the same position. The rich guys will still be rich, the soldiers will still be fighting, and the poor will remain poor. This is why I believe this war is pointless.
Day one
Dear Journal
I have entered into a different world today. Just yesterday I was worrying about the weight of bananas on my bach. Today I am learning how to kill a human. I am meant to be part of the revolution but I feel like a prisoner to them. I have been forced into fighting in a war between two sides that have stolen food from my home village. I have no idea what is happening to my mother or any of my sisters. They could all be dead right now and I am not much better off. I have to sleep outside on a hammock. I could be killed by a snake or catch a disease. And to make things worse there are some really horrible people here. There is Whistler who trys to kill me at first contact. I seriously think he would of killed me had someone not come in between us. Then there is Juan. Juan who left school to join this war. He actually delibarately has joined this war to serve his country by killing people. Also sergeant Diaz and Esteban. Those two soldiers must be trying to make my life hell and unfortunately they are doing a very good job. Sergeant Diaz is horrible with all those drills and always hitting me with his rifle. The only think that is keeping me through this is that I still have Lolo and Igancio with me. I think without them I would be completely lost.
I have entered into a different world today. Just yesterday I was worrying about the weight of bananas on my bach. Today I am learning how to kill a human. I am meant to be part of the revolution but I feel like a prisoner to them. I have been forced into fighting in a war between two sides that have stolen food from my home village. I have no idea what is happening to my mother or any of my sisters. They could all be dead right now and I am not much better off. I have to sleep outside on a hammock. I could be killed by a snake or catch a disease. And to make things worse there are some really horrible people here. There is Whistler who trys to kill me at first contact. I seriously think he would of killed me had someone not come in between us. Then there is Juan. Juan who left school to join this war. He actually delibarately has joined this war to serve his country by killing people. Also sergeant Diaz and Esteban. Those two soldiers must be trying to make my life hell and unfortunately they are doing a very good job. Sergeant Diaz is horrible with all those drills and always hitting me with his rifle. The only think that is keeping me through this is that I still have Lolo and Igancio with me. I think without them I would be completely lost.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
